Believing in yourself is really difficult (basically impossible) if you don't really believe in the things you do. So if you're struggling to believe in yourself, maybe you should try to do more of the things you actually really do believe in...
« July 2019 | Main | September 2019 »
Believing in yourself is really difficult (basically impossible) if you don't really believe in the things you do. So if you're struggling to believe in yourself, maybe you should try to do more of the things you actually really do believe in...
We never have enough time.
Money.
Resources.
Experience.
Confidence.
Or talent.
We never have enough of anything.
But waiting for that thing that's not enough to somehow magically turn into something more never really works.
The only way to get more of anything is to use what you've already got and to start turning it into more.
It's that simple.
But like most things, not that easy...
We're living in a time of abundance where it's getting harder and harder to figure out what to focus on.
And one way of dealing with this abundance is to look for rejection instead of approval.
Because it's a lot easier to look for rejection than it is to look for validation to figure out what you should be focusing on.
The only problem is that when you're (consciously or unconsciously) looking for rejection, you'll automatically end up doing mediocre work.
You'll try everything just a little bit and then just give up because it doesn't work out.
So you'll end up getting rejected from pretty much everything because you never really tried hard enough.
Here's the thing...
Looking for rejection lets you off the hook while looking for approval puts you on the hook.
That's why it's so tempting to look for rejection instead of approval.
It's tempting that's for sure.
But it won't get you anywhere other than nowhere...
You can train your whole life for that one big moment.
That one big shot.
That one chance.
That one hit.
But the truth is that you're probably going to miss it.
No matter how well prepared you are.
Because really standing in that crowded stadium where everybody is watching and hitting that home run is something else entirely.
It's terrifying.
You're going to be nervous.
A total train wreck.
And a lot of unexpected things are going to happen.
And the only way to get better at it, at managing your fear, is to take more shots.
Because the more shots you take, the better you'd get at managing your fear.
And the higher the probability that you'll be lucky one day and maybe hit that home run.
On the other hand, the less shots you take, the higher the probability that you'll never be lucky and never hit that home run...
Is probably your current boss.
After all, your boss usually doesn't really care about or knows exactly where the money for your salary comes from.
Because it usually comes from their boss's boss's boss's boss.
And where does that money come from?
No one really knows.
So no one really cares about it that much...
On the other hand when you're using an investor's money, then that investor usually takes that money straight out of their own pockets (or future possible paychecks).
So they do care a hell lot about what happens to that money.
Because they don't want to lose that money.
So they'll be a pretty tough boss.
Probably a lot tougher than your current boss.
But your worst boss by far is you.
As no one is exploiting you as much as you do.
And no one is putting as much pressure on you as you do.
And no one is treating you as badly as you do.
So if you're thinking about using someone else's money or about becoming your own boss, make sure to consider all of the above...
You could have read dozens of books about swimming, watched hundreds of videos on relationships, listened to dozens of podcasts on stocks and seen hundreds of startups fail, but when you're out there in the ocean, none of it will really help you to be able to swim.
Because the ocean is unpredictable.
And when that wave slaps you in the face for the very first time, none of these things will really matter.
None of these things you've read about, watched or listened to will ever compare to actually really being out there and trying to swim against the current.
Because the ocean is unpredictable.
So is life.
And everything around it.
That's why it's best lived...
When you do a diet, you expect to lose weight.
When you write a blog, you expect people to read it.
When you work out, you expect to get muscles.
When you put in more work, you expect better results.
When you eat healthier, you expect to get healthier.
The only problem is that in most cases, no matter what your expectations, it's probably not going to happen.
At least not as fast as you want it to happen.
So when our expectations aren't met when we expect them to be met, it's really hard to not give up.
So we usually just give up.
Sometimes sooner.
Sometimes later.
So how can we break the expectation cycle?
By trying to remind ourselves of the only thing that really matters...
We do it because it's good for us.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Eating less or healthier is good for your health.
Writing is good for your brain.
Exercising is good for your body.
Putting in more work is good for your skills.
Do it (and keep doing it) because it's good for you.
And not because of the visible, tangible or measurable results.
Because it's very likely that you're going to give up way before any of this is ever going to happen...
It's one thing to know about it.
And a completely different thing to do something about it.
Here's the thing...
Knowing about it is now easier than ever before.
While doing something about it is now seemingly harder than ever before.
But the truth is that it's just as hard as it always was.
There are just a lot more things you could now potentially do something about.
So what are you to do about it?
Here's the bad news...
Unimportant work takes just as much time as important work.
But here's the good news...
Important work takes just as much time as unimportant work...
You don't have to quit your job, start a company or create a product to learn how to do marketing and sales.
As a matter of fact, many times starting a company, creating a product and then trying to sell it is the worst thing you could do.
Simply because when you start your own company or create your own product you'll automatically be biased.
And be very emotional about it.
Which will make it almost impossible to listen carefully and to pay enough attention to figure out what works and what doesn't and why.
So to learn marketing and sales, all you'd have to do is to buy something and then try to sell it for more to someone else.
Which of course sounds pretty much impossible right now.
Because why would you be able to buy something and then sell it for more if everybody else could also buy it for less, just like you did?
And that's already the secret to marketing and sales.
Making the seemingly impossible possible...
The chance of a lifetime doesn't exist.
Because the chance of a lifetime consists of many small chances that add up over time.
Chances that were taken instead of being ignored while waiting for that chance of a lifetime.
So when it happens, when that chance of a lifetime knocks at your door, it doesn't even look like or feel like a chance of a lifetime.
It merely looks like and feels like just another one of these small chance that was the only logical step after the last few small chances taken.
Don't wait for the chance of a lifetime.
Just take the small chances.
They'll add and turn into something big over time...
Amazon for books.
Udemy for online courses.
Fiverr for gigs.
Medium for blogs.
They all have one thing in common...
The offer is way bigger than the actual demand.
And much bigger than the available shelf space.
So in the end people will always end up seeing the same stuff.
The best stuff...
So what is the best stuff?
The books with the most and the best reviews.
The online courses with the most and the best ratings.
And the jobbers with most and the best reviews.
But the best here doesn't necessarily mean that it's really the best.
Most of the time it just means popular.
So how do you get reviews, sales and become popular?
Not through the platforms.
Because their promotion only starts to kick in once they know for sure that the shelf space they're giving you will lead to a sale.
So in the end you can't count on the platforms.
You can only count on the people that already know about you.
So how do you get people to know about you?
By doing all the hard and difficult leg work of building an audience.
For how long?
For a lot longer than you're probably thinking right now.
So what do you even need all of those platforms for if you still have to bring your own crowd?
You need them to be able to reach even more people, which will happen once they start promotion your stuff.
So what does it usually take for this to kick in?
If I could make a guess...
A lot more than you're probably thinking right now..
In times of uncertainty a plan can give you all the safety you need.
But many times it'll just make you feel good.
It'll make you feel like you're beating uncertainty.
And the better, the more detailed and the more time you spend working on that plan, the more it'll feel like you're in control, know what you're doing and know what's going to happen.
That's why a plan can be a dead end.
Because there's no perfect plan.
No matter how much time you spend working on it.
There's no way to predict the future.
There's just going out there, testing your assumptions, seeing what happens and then adapting to reality.
If your plan only works when everything goes according to plan, then you probably don't even have a plan..
It's rare to find something that meets all the requirements.
Not to say it's impossible.
Nothing is ever perfect right away.
Everything needs work.
No matter if it's an idea, a project, a business, a job or a relationship.
The only way to get it even remotely close to meeting all the requirements is a hell lot of work.
So if you're not convinced, maybe you're just hiding?
Hiding from putting in all the work it takes to turn it into that something that you really want it to be.
Are you?
The thing that you know is going to work out for sure.
The thing that doesn't have a downside.
Just an upside.
That thing doesn't exist.
The sure thing doesn't exist.
Because all sure things are already taken.
Or people are fiercely competing for the few that are still left.
So instead of waiting for your turn at the sure thing, (which might never come) why not instead use that time to try the not so sure thing?
The thing that does have a much bigger downside.
But also a much bigger upside.
With a lot less competition...
Why not try that for a while?
When you don't know what to do anymore?
When you run out of ideas?
Of possibilities?
And options.?
At the end of the day, it's always the days where you don't know what to do anymore that will either make you or brake you.
And it's never the days where you know what to do...
So what will you do?
Build a community.
Then build up trust.
Then figure out what the number one problem of all of these people is.
Then build it together with them.
Then sell it to them.
And then let them help you to spread the word.
I know.
It doesn't sound sexy.
Or like rocket science.
Because it isn't.
But it works.
And that's the only thing that really matters...
Marketing isn't just about advertising anymore.
It's about so much more.
It's about understanding and being able to predict what people need.
It's about turning that need into a product.
It's about telling a story about that product.
And it's about providing great customer support.
All of these things should be part of marketing.
Because those are ultimately the things that will help you to get the word out there.
And only the last step is about advertising.
But even advertising isn't really about advertising anymore.
Because there's way too much noise out there.
It's just not as effective anymore as it used to be.
Today, advertising is all about creating communities.
Communities of people that will then help you to spread the word.
It's about helping people to solve some of their biggest problems.
Instead of solving your own problems.
Marketing isn't just about advertising anymore.
It's about so much more.
It's time to acknowledge it...
It's never your turn.
Because turns are never given.
That's why it's always your turn.
Because you can decide when it's your turn.
You can decide when to show up.
When to raise your hand.
When to give a helping hand.
When to do more than is expected.
When to do the scary stuff.
And when to move forward.
It's never your turn.
That's why it's always your turn.
It can be scary at times.
And it's a hell lot of responsibility.
But it's true...
The problem is that most ideas, projects, relationships or careers are somewhere in the middle.
They're not really taking off.
But they're also not really dying.
They're just somewhere in the middle.
Good enough to keep going.
And not bad enough to stop going.
So we're always somehow stuck in the middle.
Because it's good enough to keep going.
And not bad enough to stop going.
So how do you know when to quit?
When you've done everything you can and can't do, yet...
The focus here is on "can't do, yet".
Because the things you can do are the things you've probably already done.
The things that got you where you are right now.
So if you want to move away from where you are right now, then you've gotta be willing to do the things you can't do, yet.
Because those are the only things that will ever get you to another place than the one you're at right now...
The only way to ever be satisfied is when you're 100% committed to it.
Because if you're not, then you'll always get distracted.
By that new new thing.
That new new thing that could be even better than your current thing.
Unfortunately, there are millions of new things popping up every single day.
So it gets harder and harder every single day to not get distracted by all of those new things.
And when you're constantly distracted, you'll never be able to focus.
And when you're not 100% focused on your current thing, then you'll never be able to push through the tough times.
And then things will never get any better.
And you'll never get any better at it.
And you'll never be satisfied.
And you'll just give up at one point.
After all, there's already another new new thing just around the corner.
Doesn't matter if it's a new skill, idea, project, business, life partner, friendship, etc.
The problem isn't about satisfaction.
It's about commitment.
Without commitment there's no long term satisfaction...
And even if you do, all that's going to happen is that the other person is going to like you a little bit less (or a lot less) than they did before.
Simply because people don't like to be wrong.
So even if you win, in the end you're most likely going to lose...
It's very unlikely that you're going to get hired to learn something new.
And instead it's very likely that you're going to get hired to do something you're already pretty good at.
Everything else doesn't really make a lot of sense for the company that's hiring you.
And the things you're going to learn will usually help you to get even better at the job you're already doing.
So if you want to learn something new, something that helps you to become more independent, something that's not directly liked to what you're already doing, then you're probably going to have to learn it on your own...
... isn't lost because of poor decision making.
Most of the time is lost because no decisions were made at all.
But here's the even bigger problem...
The longer you wait to make that decision, the higher the probability that you're going to end up being forced to make a decision.
And when that happens, that decision will most likely not be your decision anymore...
The longer something works out just fine without any notable catastrophes, the more people, organizations and institutions will start to believe it.
That they're 100% safe.
That nothing can happen to them.
And the longer that feeling lasts, the harder it gets to adapt to all kinds of (potential and real) shocks.
What makes matters even worse is that we tend to over-engineer all kinds of security mechanisms that are trying to completely eradicate those shocks.
Which of course reinforces our beliefs that nothing is going to happen, ever...
Until it does.
And when it does, we're usually not prepared for it.
Are you?
It's never your last chance.
To buy that product.
To start that business.
To write that book.
To go over and talk to her/him.
To ask that question.
To do what you always wanted to do.
It never is.
It never is your last chance.
Until one day it is...
Diversity.
Diversity in thoughts.
In ideas.
In beliefs.
And in people...
It creates new things.
And it destroys the old.
It preserves everything we've ever seen so far.
It's unpredictable.
It makes the impossible possible.
And it creates things we've never seen so far.
Diversity is the past.
The present.
And the future...
Big opportunities are the result of many small opportunities taken over time.
Just like a big audience is the result of a tiny audience that grew over time.
Or just like a lot of money is usually the result of a small amount of money that grew over time.
And that's the secret.
To what?
To success...
In pretty much every field.
You go from small to big.
Because you can't go from nothing to big right away.
Even though it's very tempting to think that you can.
It's tempting to believe in that overnight success.
Because it lets us off the hook.
It lets us off the hook of putting in the work.
After all, if success comes over night and it pretty much depends on luck, then why even bother?
So how do you know if you'll ever be able to go from small to big?
How do you know if it'll ever work out?
You don't.
No one does.
All you can do is to give it all you've got.
Every single day.
And maybe one day it'll all work out.
Maybe it won't.
But the only way to figure out if it does, is to do it...
Most of the time we try the hard stuff first.
Instead of trying the easy stuff first...
We try to write a book, instead of writing blog posts first.
We quit our jobs to start a business, instead of just keeping our jobs and starting that business on the side.
We're looking for that shortcut when we don't even know where the hell we're going, instead of trying to figure out where to go first.
Here's the thing...
If you don't eat the low hanging fruits first, you'll never have enough energy to climb that tree all the way to the top where all the best fruits can be found...
Rarely happen when you do what everybody else is already doing.
When you add just a few new features.
When you try to optimize it and make it just a tiny little bit better.
Or faster.
Or cheaper...
Breakthroughs are unexpected.
And when you keep doing what you've always been doing, then it's very likely that nothing unexpected is ever going to happen.
And instead all that's going to happen is what's been happening all along already.
So if you're looking for a breakthrough, go and look somewhere else.
It might be scary at first.
But it'll be worth it...
With a job the things you have to do are usually pre-defined, you're being told what to do, you get a deadline and a guaranteed compensation.
It's like using a map that will get you where you want to go with as little roadblocks along the way as possible.
On the other hand, when you start a business or do projects you have exactly none of the above.
No pre-defined tasks.
No one tells you what to do.
You don't get any deadlines.
And there's no guaranteed compensation.
It's like you're in the middle of the jungle with no water, no food, no map and no clue where to go...