One of my most successful blog posts is called What to do when people talk shit about you.
So apparently a lot of people have a problem with it. How do I know? Google sends me a few thousand people to this article every month. And when you type that phrase into Google, you'll see this exact post on #1.
A lot of people asked me this and similar questions on social media. What to do when people are disrespectful, what to do when people don't treat you in a way you deserve it and so on. So I thought it might be a good idea to write another post on this topic.
And say something not a lot of people have said so far. After all, you're here to rethink your now. That's at least why I write all of this stuff. It might be something that'll make you very angry. Or something that might hurt your feelings.
The thing is this:
99% of the people are lazy. And reactive. They don't do anything unless you do something. They only react. But don't act. OK, I totally made that number up. But it's true that most people don't do anything unless you do something.
- Most people don't have a blog where they share their opinions. All they do is to react to other people's blog posts and comment on them. Just like you. They only react. But don't act.
- Most people admire people who do stuff they don't feel like being capable of doing. Even though they might be smarter, better or more creative than the person they admire. They don't do. They mostly react.
- Most people tend to hate their jobs, but they don't do anything against it. They usually need a wake up call to change things. Or they need to get fired first. They only react. They don't act.
I think you get the point.
What I'm trying to say is that this applies to pretty much everything out there. So whenever someone talks shit behind your back or whenever someone is disrespectful try to find the real reason. And not just a good reason.
You probably said something first. Something that upset them. Something that made them sad.
A good reason is that people talk shit behind your back to get you down. Because they are mean people. The real reason might look a bit different though.
The real reason might be that you treated them badly in the first place. Maybe you didn't even notice it. Everything you say and do will be interpreted by people. And people will most likely get everything wrong you're saying.
It's not that people are stupid. It's just the way we are.
And without noticing it you might already have disrespected them. Their way of thinking. Or their feelings. And then they react. And then they fight back. Even though there never really was a fight in the first place.
Me writing this right here might be very disrespectful to many people out there. You might not like it either. And then people will disrespect me. And then they will talk shit behind my back. They might even start hating me. Or you.
The thing is that people will always react. They will never act.
So whenever you feel like someone treated you badly, whenever you feel like someone disrespected you, do this:
Try to look for the real reason. Whatever that real reason might look like. And don't just look for a good reason. Because always looking for a good reason won't get you anywhere..